Just in time! Christmas movies, part 2.
12/8

Home Alone (rewatch, 1990, Chris Columbus, dvd) - 8
Macauly Culkin's family leaves for vacation, and accidentally leaves him behind, and Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern try to rob his house thinking it's empty, but Macauly fucks their shit up. It's a good movie.

12/9

Home Alone 2: Lost in New York (rewatch, 1992, Chris Columbus, dvd) - 7
Pretty much the exact same movie as the first one, but in New York, and without any attempt at realism. I didn't really understand why he was dealing with the criminals in the first place. He finds out they're gonna rob a toy store at midnight, and rather than just calling the police to let them know, he first lures them to a booby-trapped house so he can torture them. It's not done out of self-defense, he's just a fucking sadist. Which possibly makes it a better movie, I don't know, but I wasn't as into it.

12/9 and 2/2

6 Films to Keep You Awake: A Christmas Tale (2008, Paco Plaza, download/dvd) - 9
A group of kids find a woman dressed up as Santa in a hole in the woods, and at first, they go to get the police, but then when they find out she robbed a bank, they decide to leave her down there and starve her until she gives them the stolen money. It's really fucking great.

12/12

Two Front Teeth (2006, Jamie Nash & David Sckrabulis, dvd) - 1.5
I don't think I've ever known I was about to hate a movie as quickly as I did this one. It was literally only like 3 seconds in, with the first line, and I could already tell that the acting and humor were gonna be excruciating. The plot seemed good enough, with killer elves, ninja nuns, and an evil Santa, but everything about it just came out fucking irritating.

12/14

Emmet Otter's Jug-Band Christmas (1977, Jim Henson, download) - 3
An otter and his mom are poor, and they try to win some money through a music competition thing, and they don't end up winning which was sort of awesome, but there's still a happy ending. It was really bad. It's too fucking saccharine all the way through, and I think any good kid's movie has to have something sad or dark in it.


Mystery Science Theater 3000: Santa Claus (1993, Jim Mallon, download) - 5
Sometimes I can't get really get through MST3K unless I just have it on in the background. I was watching this at work (the security job I no longer have), with nothing else to do, and I thought it was pretty boring, and not funny nearly often enough. It might have just been because I've seen Santa Claus without their commentary, and it's a pretty horrible movie, so it was hard to separate myself from that.

12/15

Three Godfathers (1948, John Ford, dvd) - 5
John Wayne and two other guys are running from the law, and they come across a woman in labor who dies giving birth, so they have to watch over the baby. It was pretty stupid.


A Charlie Brown Christmas (short, 1965, Bill Melendez, dvd) - 7
Charlie Brown is directing a Christmas play, and then he buys a pathetic tree, and there's something about commercialism being bad and Jesus being good. I liked it, I guess. I love the soundtrack a whole lot. I also watched A Charlie Brown Kwanzaa on youtube, which was sort of amazing.

It's Christmastime Again, Charlie Brown (short, 1992, Bill Melendez, dvd) - 6.5
I loved that this starts off with Charlie Brown going door-to-door trying to make some money by selling Christmas wreaths. Way to learn the lesson from the first movie. Other than that, I don't even remember what this was about.


The Animaniacs: Helloooo, Holidays! (1992, vhs) - 8
A bunch of Animaniacs skits relating to Christmas. A couple of them were godawful, but most were really great.